Dependency
I lost my voice this past Sunday morning. I had gotten a cold earlier in the week, and when I get a cough I lose my voice. So when I woke up Sunday morning not much noise was coming out. This was not the day for this to happen.
All I could think was: I needed my voice! I needed a voice to welcome students when they arrived at Elevation, to talk with Moriah over lunch, to run two Fusion leaders meetings, and give a message at Fusion Meal Night. Mark is in Hawaii this week, so Tyler and I were it. Tyler had so many responsibilities that I could not pass on my meetings and message to him. So by midday when my voice was almost nothing, I had to press on.
I am a talker. I love to communicate and ask questions. So this not-talking thing really isn’t my style. But, last night I found myself not relying on my abilities, but God. I did so much praying, and I asked everyone who would have pity on me to pray.
When 7 PM approached my voice started to come back. It didn’t hurt to say words, and I was feeling excited that God was answering my prayers. I got up to speak and apologized that they had to hear my voice. I told the visitors that I normally sound like a girl, but who knows what I sounded like that day. I spoke on Impact – making an impact for Christ.
But, something happened that night that moved me. God not only gave me my voice back, but he moved in my heart. The message I prepared to give to the students suddenly became a lesson God had for me. I felt like I was talking to myself, not a bunch of leaders and jr. high students.
I guess by losing my voice I also understood on a deeper level my dependency on Christ. Which caused me to realize that if I want to impact others for Christ, I must be fully dependent on God. To not trust in my abilities, but to put my trust in Him.
Dependency, it is a beautiful thing!
Jen
