Engage In Their Relationships
You don’t need to tell me that Jr. High is too young for kids to be in relationships with each other. Besides being ridiculously short-lived(often lasting a day at the most!), most JH relationships are charged with emotions that most students don’t know how to handle in the first place. As I’ve been giving some Biblical advice and teaching on some particular kinds of relationshipst reminded me that I need to encourage parents to be in the loop about how they can disciple and partner with their kids in the journey to learn how to find the right person in the future for marriage.
It’s been said, over and over, that how we learn how to pursue relationships will in many ways dictate how we will pursue marriage in the future. Relationships are practice for marriage in the same way that practicing an instrument leads to proficiency in playing that instrument with one caveat: If you practice wrong, you will get worse, not better!
Now, please don’t get me wrong! I am not encouraging students to be in relationships. In fact, my hope is that they would wait to pursue guy/girl relationships until later in High School or after graduation. However, I also see that relationships will happen in JH and to not teach them or give them God’s perspective as revealed in His word would be irresponsible as a spiritual leader. As a parent, it would also be irresponsible for me to not know where my kids are at in terms of their relationships. Ultimately I want them to have a good marriage because I want to equip them with the truth compared to the half-truths and out and out lies that come from the media and our culture.
One great way to engage is to meet with your child’s special friend and let them know your standards, rules and guidelines for the relationship. This is appropriate as long as they are living in your home and are your responsibility. Let them know spiritual perspectives. Advise without preaching, asking for their feedback, but always be willing to search the Bible with them to show where you are coming from. Set good boundaries that they agree to with you. Boundary issues may be time spent phoning, texting or communicating via technology sources. Other issues may be physical contact, curfews, and time spent together, either alone or otherwise.
The bottom line is that helping your kids with their relationships shows them you are on their side, wanting them to avoid as much heartache as possible, and experience as much joy and equipping for future relationship success. The majority of parents will not engage out of embarrassment or neglect, but join the minority that go against the flow of the culture. Come along for the ride, not fearing the worst, but believing the best!
Pastor Mark
