Red To Black Series Overview
RED TO BLACK: We live in a culture that moves fast. We can get a burger and fries in less than three minutes, and we can download new music in a matter of seconds. Unfortunately, this fast pace usually means we don’t stop to think about the money that constantly comes and goes, passing through our hands feeding our desire for more. But did you know throughout Jesus ministry one of His most prevalent topics was money? That’s right. The way we use our resources is important to God. The next four weeks we are going to take a look the power of greed and materialism. We will also be looking at the way we give, spend and save our money, and how these habits reveal the thin green line between our hearts and our money.
Week One (February 1st)
This week we will be playing a game called Wall Street for most of the service that will simulate the stock market. After playing the game, Grant Vandehey will be sharing from 1 Timothy 6, especially focusing on how the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil.
Week Two (February 8th)
We all want to make a difference in this life. We want to be a part of something beyond ourselves. This week we will show how giving connects you to something bigger.
Week Three (February 15th)
Have you ever walked into Target to buy toothpaste? You walk in the door focused on the one thing you need, and walk out with $40 of stuff you realized you “had to have” once you entered the magical land of marketing. This week we will be talking about how what we see affects our desire and ultimately our pocketbook.
Week Four (February 22nd)
Chances are you have a list of “someday” items. Things you are going to buy, repairs you are going to make, vacations you will go on someday. The trouble is saving money for these things takes time and self-control. But when saving becomes a part of a monthly, weekly or daily routine, then we will be able to ultimately do more with our money than we can do today.
EXPERIENCE:
Math teachers teach math. Science teachers teach science. But who is teaching your child to manage their finances? Whether you realize it or not, your child is affected by the way you treat money. Think back to your own experience. How did your parents handle finances? Did they talk about it openly? Did your parents spend more than what they had? Did they save money? Did they give on a regular basis? How have your parents’ financial habits affected you?
This month, spend some time reflecting on your financial habits. Then spend some time alone answering the following questions about your financial goals for your child. Follow up by finding a time to get alone with your child, listen to their goals and come up with a plan to help them responsibly manage their resources.
Income/Spending:
1. What are your child’s expenses?
2. What do you want your child to pay for on his or her own?
3. How do you expect your child to pay for these things? Will he or she have a job?
4. How much will you allow your child to work while in school?
Savings/ Debt:
1. What expenses do you see in your child’s future? (car/ college/living, etc.)
2. How much of these expenses will your child be responsible for?
3, How can your child avoid debt?
4. Does your child need a credit card? Will you co-sign for one? What is the credit card for?
5. Will your child take out loans for college? What is the plan for paying those off?
6. Does your child need to save up for taxes? Do they know how to pay taxes when the time comes?
Giving:
1. Do you give on a regular basis?
2. Why would you or your child want to give?
3. In what ways can you encourage your child to give?
The Journey Of Love
I still remember my first love. She was a beautiful Hispanic girl in Ukiah, California. We never talked. I just saw her and fell in love at first sight. In order to look more like her, I had my Mom buy gallons of chocolate milk so I could drink my skin darker, but to no avail! Eventually(2 days later) my love for her faded and I fell in love with dinosaur bone discovery and my first love had come to an end.
When I watch young, junior high students fall in love, I inwardly chuckle because I see kids fall into the same journey with the same steps each time. These steps seem to be the outgrowth of the maturing of students from fear of the opposite sex to obsession then back to balance and eventually to marriage. Here are the steps I’ve seen in my many years in student ministry:
Step 1- The Mean Stage- In grade school two kids who like each other tend to hit or bug each other for no particular reason than to start the journey of love. This step comes and goes like the wind so kids can have many relationships in one day.
Step 2- The Third Person Stage- Usually in late grade school to junior high school, students find out that they are in a relationship because they get informed of such by a mutual friend. Actual communication between the two persons doesn’t happen. This third person relationship lasts only as long as the third person wishes to be in the middle of things, sometimes even years long. Most of the time, these relationships last for a week or two and then end with bang.
Step 3- The Phone Stage- This stage is fun because communication between the guy and the girl takes place. However, in this day and age that communication is only rarely face to face (unless you could video chatting on the computer). Typically these relationships rely on innumerable text messages, cell phone calls and instant messaging. This abundance of communication often ends when face to face activities begin which typically ends the relationship because the two don’t know how to relate on a personal level.
Step 4- The Group Stage- In order to solve the awkwardness of the face to face personal activities together, the group stage comes into play where groups of peers coincidentally show up at a mall or movie theatre and hidden within the groups are a boy and girl who “like” each other. To “like” someone is to say you are in love in youth terms. This stage can last years and is very healthy since friendship is the best foundation for youth relationships.
Step 5- The Affection Stage- Often when a relationship progresses, the involved students may show affection like hand holding or sitting next to each other. This usually causes friends in close proximity to erupt in jeers of embarrassment or to run for the hills because of the syrupy love speak that almost always accompanies the mutually affectionate.
Step 6- The One-On-One Stage- Right on the heels of the institution of affection in a relationship is often the “talk” that leads to declaring the relationship is an exclusive entity. Now that it’s declared as such, every conversation with someone of the opposite sex can be construed as threatening to the integrity of the relationship. When hurt feelings occur, hours-long conversations must happen to work toward making things right. If one or both of the parties stop working on making things right, the relationship often ends. If they both work hard and keep working hard it may lead to the next stage.
Step 7- The Engagement Stage- Usually after a year of One on One stage dating, the two persons in love decide that they wish to spend a lifetime of working things out together so a ring is purchased and wedding plans are made and months later the happily married could start the journey of married love.
The journey of love is full of fun and conflict, joy and despair, but full it is. Even though this little overview is more tongue-in-cheek than Solomonic wisdom, I hope you will get a kick of the ways that love happens today.
Mark
Sometimes You Need To Leave The Cabin…
Last month when we had all the snow, I found myself in a situation I never thought I would be in: Cabin Fever! After too many days of no school, no work, no normal schedule and more, I found my patience getting strained to the limit. I had become overly cranky and not very fun to be around. Cabin fever comes from the situations in camping where the weather keeps people in and recreation becomes mere survival. No one likes cabin fever. It’s boring. It is depressing. It can feel endless. Much like the way we can see our kids when get family cabin fever on a spiritual level.
Family cabin fever isn’t a clinical condition or even something you may have read about. I started thinking that the cabin fever effect can happen with families, especially families that become disconnected with their spiritual community. When you become so myopic about the challenges your kids are going through, when you seem to fight the same fights, over and over, these are the situations that can drive us to deep discouragement. We may only see the ways our kids don’t seem to grow and develop and miss the positive steps that may be small and yet formative. I know this is something I struggle with often. I see the continued messy rooms that never get cleaned unless we badger the kids. The lights that remain on. The lost or forgotten homework that seems to happen every other night. Unfortunately, these daily growth challenges can make us forget that there is another bigger challenge lurking that we are missing.
The reason cabin fever is so hard to deal with is because we weren’t meant to stay in the cabin! We were meant to enjoy the world outside the cabin. It lodges us for a night or the occasional meal, but we were meant for the world outside. It’s when we only see the cabin and not the world that we lose perspective. We are supposed to be forming children who will one day be able to impact the world and one day repeat this process with their kids. If all we care about is a well-behaved, cabin environment, free from frustration and with a minimum of stress, we will have missed the boat! We need to leave the cabin and see if our kids can take their faith into the world. We need to find out if they have what it takes to own what they say they believe. If not, they will walk away and probably never come back. Why would you come back to a faith that’s all about avoiding stress and frustration and trying to control those who cause it?
Most of us would rather be fully alive, outside where our faith can thrive and impact others. We want to be graded on the way our lives counted for what matters most to Jesus. If we parents can thrive in that kind of life, your kids will pick it up and run with it too. We need to show them that our families will be best when they leave the cabin and enjoy the world.
Pastor Mark
Thrashed
I came home and noticed that my daughter’s Children’s Bible was sitting on a dresser and not in it’s normal place. When I picked up the Bible the cover was completely torn and the binding was coming apart. I irritability asked my husband, Darren, why our daughter’s Bible was so thrashed, and he proceeded to tell me what happened. He said that she wanted the Bible off the top shelf of her bookshelf and when she grabbed it the weight of the Bible made it crash on the floor, causing the tear. The tears only got worse as she tried to keep the Bible on her lap, but because of the weight of the Bible it kept slipping off her lap and falling to the ground.
That night I was at Bible Study, and while using my Bible I realized my binding is completely separated from the rest of the pages. I have had my Bible for 19 years. It was a gift from the senior pastor of the church I grew up at. I have thought of getting a new Bible for years, but the thought of not using the Bible that has been with me since I was 15 is hard for me to think about. My Bible is so thrashed because I have taken it with me many places, dropped it many times, and read it for years.
Then I thought of my daughter’s Bible being just as thrashed as mine, and I realized it is because she enjoys God’s Word. After months and months of reading her the Bible, she is beginning to want to see it for herself.
The same day of the thrashed Bible incident, I took out a jr. high student for a snack after school. We had the best time chatting and eating. Towards the end of our conversation I asked her how she stays close to God throughout the week. Her response blew me away. She proceeded to tell me that she prays and reads her Bible most nights before she goes to bed.
My prayer since my daughter was born was that she would grow up to love God and be in The Word daily (just like that jr. high student). I am excited to see that she has thrashed her Bible in an effort to look through the passages throughout the day.
Not only do I pray that my daughter knows God’s Word and is transformed by it, but that I lead the example before her. Thrashed Bibles, gotta love ’em!
Jen
Bridging The Gap
We have a United Service coming up this next Sunday the 25th and it got me thinking. We originally started United Services in order to provide a way for us to try and stem the tide of students not connecting with our Adult services before graduation from High School. We have seen, especially in the last 8 years, a vast increase in students who don’t connect with our Adult services after High School. We have also seen that this phenomena is not specific to our church, but is indicative of a national trend in churches today. We wanted our United Services to be unique and have the leadership cross the different generations of the different age groups that would participate. We wanted them to occur about 4 times a year, which we have done a pretty good job keeping to.
Unfortunately, what I have observed happening is that the students perceive that the United Services are no different than the family worship weekends that we have periodically during the course of the ministry year. Even though the services have youth staff up front leading worship and different elements of the service, they still don’t see that as enough of a difference as to be noticeable. I know that many hours and much thought has been given to this challenging situation, but it seems that we are making too little progress.
I am interested in what different families are perceiving. I would love to hear back about what your kids are saying. I ask my girls and get good feedback, but I would like to hear from others, young and old, just entering Junior High and even those who graduated long ago. Give me pointers. Point me to books to read. Set up a time to chat and let’s hit this challenge head on with a passion to see change happen. Let’s hear what the kids think and try to assimilate all the ideas together and see it we find the heart of Christ to unify His church in the midst of it all!
Thanks for helping me in this ,
Pastor Mark
Red To Black: The Prequel
When I was growing up, I knew my Dad was a generous giver at our church. He was on the finance committee and was always willing to help others with financial wisdom. He gave me an allowance each week and instructed me on the importance of giving to the church and valuing finances with the right perspective. So how come I never gave? Did I just not get it? Or did I have to learn and hear from God in his timing?
Today, it doesn’t seem like many kids get a consistent allowance. Often, they get very little training and accountability in how they handle money before they leave the home. In fact, we see that more kids don’t have any control over the money they receive. If they want to go out, they hit Mom or Dad up for the money. If the parents have the money and the desire to let them go, they go. If the parents are running short, they don’t. More schools are stepping up and giving instructions about practical finance in parts of classes they offer. Unfortunately, the schools don’t have a spiritual/Biblical foundation for their financial instruction.
If we want to help our kids avoid going into the Red(by taking on too much debt and financial crisis), we need to prioritize helping them by equipping them to handle finances before they are in crisis. To that end, we are getting on board with the whole church as we start the series called Red To Black. We will be teaching our kids the Junior High specific applications of the message topics that will be taught throughout the life of the church during February. We are also encouraging our families to prioritize going to the seminar as a family. While most helpful for a high schooler, the seminar could be very helpful for junior high students who are mature.
I hope and pray that as we anticipate this Red To Black series and take ground in equipping our kids for now and the future, we will find that much heartache is saved in the future. Pray about your involvement and anticipate hearing from God.
Take care,
Mark
Confessions Of A Reactive Parent
With the turning of the calendar into another year, I was considering resolutions and looking back on what happened this past year as a way of getting calibrated for direction for this coming year. Last year I tried really hard to realign our ministry efforts from only focusing on students to taking ground in the area of helping parents be more effective in discipling their kids. As we have used this blog and tried to raise this value in numerous other ways, I have consistently tried to look in the mirror and see if I am following the model that we are holding up for our families. As I am my worst critic, I don’t feel I do a good job discipling my own kids. Thus the title of this blog…
To say I don’t disciple my kids would be a huge overstatement. My wife Rhonda and I are very integrated with our faith and our family life. We aren’t legalistic, focusing on the do’s and don’ts of the faith. We allow our kids to make mistakes and help them process what needs to change when they do have missteps. We model a daily walk with Christ and do this while both working, albeit as staff members at Rolling Hills. We are good, reactive parents, helping our kids process life situations as they come up with grace and wisdom, keeping our faith at the forefront. While much of living life by faith is learning how to react to situations and not compromise, this is only part of what a disciplemaking parent is called to do. The other part is to be proactive.
In many ways I depend on others (their pastor, their small group leader, their church) to do the proactive part. It’s not that I don’t try to be proactive, it just isn’t as natural to do as the reactive discipling which comes up spontaneously and irregularly. I trust the different voices who are speaking truth into my kid’s lives to do so. I just need to also be one of those voices too. But how often? In what context is it best? What information should I share? How do I balance relational closeness with informational accountability?
These burning questions will follow me this year. If you have something that has helped you to be a proactive discipling parent, comment on this blog entry and let me know what you do. I would love to be sharpened by the iron of the body of Christ.
Mark
Welcome Back & Happy New Year!
I’m back from an abundance of snow, travel, holiday bustle and time to reflect on the real reason for the season- Christ! With the adjustment to the normal schedule (Is there a “normal” schedule?), I wanted to let you know what is coming up with the Junior High ministry.
Elevation starts up on Sunday, January 4th at 11am with a new series called “Attached”. Here is some information that will help you be in the loop about what we will be teaching:
Attached:
Every one of us is attached to something—some person, thing or experience. The trouble with our attachments is that sometimes they let us down. For the next three weeks your students will be exploring the attachments that become part of their identity, and uncovering the truth about their identity in Christ.
Week One (January 4th)
Students will be challenged to look at their lives and consider the things that require the greatest amount of their time, money and attention. We will help them begin to identify attachments that may be shaping their identity. It is not a time for critique or judgment, but a time to peel back the curtain and look honestly at places of attachment. This week you may want to ask your student about attachments that they see in their lives.
Week Two (January 11th)
Students will be challenged to find their identity not in the things of the world—things that always change and have the potential to let them down and break their heart—but to find their identity in knowing that they are the beloved children of an awesome God. You may want to ask them what they heard the speaker say, and ask them what it means to be attached to a relationship with Jesus Christ.
Week Three (January 18th)
Now students have identified the things they are attached to, and have recognized potential dangers associated with creating an identity based on things that do not last. They have considered the truth that they have already been given an identity as the beloved child of God.
Students will now be challenged to lean fully into Christ by fostering a growing relationship with their Creator. That feels risky to a student—and even to an adult. It’s not the reality, because trusting in God is never a real risk, but it sure feels that way sometimes. You may want to talk to your student about ways that you try to lean fully into Christ and things that make it really difficult for you.
I hope this little summary will help you reinforce the truth of this series into your student’s everyday life. Let us know any feedback you may have about what God is doing in this series by emailing me at mark.began@rollinghills.org.
In His Service,
Pastor Mark
678live's Blog 