“Not Until You’re Older”
When I was little, as the youngest in my family, I had to wait a lot. I would see what my older brother and sister were doing and want to watch what they were watching, or do what they were doing, and my parents always responded with “Not now, Vickie, not until you’re older.” So I waited patiently, and sometimes not so patiently, for the days when I could walk to my friend’s house without someone holding my hand, hang out at the mall without my parents and have my own cell phone.
There was one thing that I didn’t have to wait for, and that was serving others. I can remember being asked to get everyone’s drink orders when we had guests, and doing so with a towel over my arm and a little notepad to keep track. I think part of the reason that I loved it was because I got to have a special job, and people had to pay attention to me- very important to the little drama queen that I was back then. (and my siblings will probably tell you I still am)
I feel like junior high students hear this a lot- and it can be very frustrating to them. They feel like they are old enough for most things, and want to be respected because of that. It’s not that I disagree that they should be waiting for a lot of things, because they aren’t quite ready to handle it all yet, but service is something that can be done at any age, and in a variety of capacities. My days in Junior High (ten years ago now, wow!) fostered a realization about the importance of serving others, and that it didn’t matter how old I was- I could still help other people.
So even though it sometimes took me a little longer to get everyone’s drink orders, and it probably would have been easier to tell people to get drinks for themselves, I’m grateful that my parents started teaching me the importance of service at a young age, and continued to encourage me in that throughout my adolescence.
-Vickie Chambers, Summer Staff
That Sucking Sound Is…
The enemy of best isn’t terrible or the worst. The enemy of the best things are good things that get in the way. One of those good things that gets in the way of the best is sports. We love how sports keep our kids active. We see the value of coaches who instill more than just skills, but character too. Sports are exciting and full of drama. They even give us a social outlet and friendships too.
But sports are robbing us of something better. They are taking our time. They are consuming our priorities. They are taking over our lives and the change is so subtle that we often miss it. Sports often force us to choose and make choices that seem temporary, but often become permanent.
When our kids were younger, they looked so cute running the bases backwards or kicking the ball in the wrong goal. We never thought that these “games” would ever become the all-consuming, year-round, expensive lifestyle choices that they turn into. The problem is that the change was slow and steady. Each year the requirements to do well went up, while the emphasis on having fun became a forgotten afterthought. Then, the sacrifices required to compete with the best started to drive families to be gone multiple weekends in a row for months at a time so you could get your team into the best tournaments and showcase talents to the top scouts and coaches. All for what? A possible scholarship? The prestige of a state championship? Maybe one day a world or Olympic championship? I think it’s funny that many parents are hoping to save money on university, but they have spent thousands of dollars for years so their kids could play on the best teams and they could have saved those same dollars and invested in their schooling early in their kid’s lives.
That sucking sound you hear is the time and experiences that you are losing as your kids grow up and leave your home to become another generation of adults. That sucking sound is the loss of potential relationship you may have had with your kids that will disappear when their sports disappear. That sucking sound is the emptiness that you come to realize when your kids don’t care about God, but do care about how many reps they can do or how many goals they scored in the state tournament the last couple years so they can impress a scout or coach or …
My faith matters so much to me. I am going to try and help my kids to see that many things will compete with their faith. They will have many choices to make after they graduate and leave our home. My hope and prayer is that they take their faith into college and marriage and child-bearing and beyond. Let’s change the culture together! Let’s be disciplemakers who start with the most important relationships- our families! Let’s make the best things our highest priorities and show the world a different way to live.
Pastor Mark
Help Us Improve!
This year we tried to do a better job of connecting with parents. Our desire is to help parents disciple and hand their faith off to their kids. In so doing, we don’t want our ministry programs to get in the way of that imperative, but we want it to supplement the important work each parent does in raising godly kids. This year we have tried to consistently have blog entries that would keep parents in the loop as far as teaching and insights go. We have consistently sent prayer requests and kept those needs in front of the parents who desired to pray for our ministry (Thank you for making that happen Heather Gendvilas!). We had two parent visit nights during the year for Fusion in order to help parents connect with their student’s small group leader. We used the prayer requests to also communicate the upcoming meeting schedule for Elevation and Fusion in order to keep the most up-to-date information in front of you. We have also tried to always keep our Atrium information station stocked with the most current information every Sunday morning so you can always have access to it in a convenient way.
Although these have been many ways we have tried to build bridges with parents this year, we understand that we missed many parents in the process as well. I’m sure many of you have had conversations with concerned friends who feel in the dark about what is happening in the Junior High. Help us do better next year by either encouraging those parents to comment to this blog about how we could improve or pass on their concerns to us so we can start to formulate new strategies for next year. We want to keep improving and growing so you can have confidence that we not only love your kids with a deep and abiding love, but we love and support you too! We want the best for you as parents and will work tirelessly until we build a bridge to every parent!
Thanks for the joy of serving Christ by serving you!
Pastor Mark
Engage In Their Relationships
You don’t need to tell me that Jr. High is too young for kids to be in relationships with each other. Besides being ridiculously short-lived(often lasting a day at the most!), most JH relationships are charged with emotions that most students don’t know how to handle in the first place. As I’ve been giving some Biblical advice and teaching on some particular kinds of relationshipst reminded me that I need to encourage parents to be in the loop about how they can disciple and partner with their kids in the journey to learn how to find the right person in the future for marriage.
It’s been said, over and over, that how we learn how to pursue relationships will in many ways dictate how we will pursue marriage in the future. Relationships are practice for marriage in the same way that practicing an instrument leads to proficiency in playing that instrument with one caveat: If you practice wrong, you will get worse, not better!
Now, please don’t get me wrong! I am not encouraging students to be in relationships. In fact, my hope is that they would wait to pursue guy/girl relationships until later in High School or after graduation. However, I also see that relationships will happen in JH and to not teach them or give them God’s perspective as revealed in His word would be irresponsible as a spiritual leader. As a parent, it would also be irresponsible for me to not know where my kids are at in terms of their relationships. Ultimately I want them to have a good marriage because I want to equip them with the truth compared to the half-truths and out and out lies that come from the media and our culture.
One great way to engage is to meet with your child’s special friend and let them know your standards, rules and guidelines for the relationship. This is appropriate as long as they are living in your home and are your responsibility. Let them know spiritual perspectives. Advise without preaching, asking for their feedback, but always be willing to search the Bible with them to show where you are coming from. Set good boundaries that they agree to with you. Boundary issues may be time spent phoning, texting or communicating via technology sources. Other issues may be physical contact, curfews, and time spent together, either alone or otherwise.
The bottom line is that helping your kids with their relationships shows them you are on their side, wanting them to avoid as much heartache as possible, and experience as much joy and equipping for future relationship success. The majority of parents will not engage out of embarrassment or neglect, but join the minority that go against the flow of the culture. Come along for the ride, not fearing the worst, but believing the best!
Pastor Mark
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