Certain Amid Uncertainty

October 21, 2009 at 9:23 am (Uncategorized)

I guess I have been in a place of uncertainty for a while.  I guess that this is also why I have not blogged in so long.  What do I say?  What do I share?  But, I have to be honest: life is uncertain right now.  I love to be in control, I love to have a good plan and see it happen.  Just to make things clear I am not good with the “I do not knows” and the “Let’s just wing it” approach.  My family has a name for it “control freak.”  I come from a long line of them.  It is almost hereditary:)

But, I can’t be shy about it anymore; I am not in control these days.   I do not have life figured out, and I do not know what the future holds.  I am sure many people can resonate with me.  This economy has turned things upside down, and where we envisioned our life going is not always what happens.

So in the midst of the uncertainty, where do I go?  How do I forge ahead?

Last week I meet with two of the girls I am discipling.  (Love it!)   We are reading through the gospels this fall, and last week we finished up in Matthew.  After discussing what they learned, we focused on:

Matthew 22:37 – 38“Jesus replied: ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.  This is the first and greatest commandment.”

Now, this passage has not left me since then. I am really wrestling with it.  I have read it so many times, but this time around it is different.  I am really trying to figure out what does it mean to love God with all my heart, with all my soul and with all my mind in the midst of uncertainty?

How do I love God so much that my motives (heart) for my future align with His?

How do I love God so much that my inmost being (soul) craves Him more then control?

And how do I love God so much that everything on my mind is laid at His throne so I keep focused on Him (Mind)?

This passage is causing me each day…

To keep asking Him to change my motives to be what He desires:  Heart.

To keep asking Him to transform my inmost being into His likeness:  Soul.

To keep asking Him to fix my thoughts on things that please Him:  Mind.

So what I am certain amid uncertainty is that I have a God that loves me and will never leave.  And the greatest commandment cannot be head knowledge it must be my calling.

Jen